2018 was a heart breaking year for me as I lost my papa who is still continues to be my pillar of strength.
I had never gone through such immense pain in my life. What did it teach me?
It taught me that we need to value our dear ones and always try and spend quality time with them. I was fortunate that I got be with them in 2017 and spend time taking care of them.
The best tribute to the loss of a loved one is to ensure we carry forward their values. This is what I will keep doing throughout my life now do things that he valued the most
I went to see my dad when we had a massive heart attack. By being with him I was able to make my dad happy. He was happy to see me and was recovering well. We started to go out for small walks. I learnt it is very important that we build everlasting memories with our loved ones. We will always have important and urgent stuff do in our life. I understood that making your loved ones feel special is what makes life worth living.
As I was going through the pain I found solace in reading some very meaningful books that I want to share. These amazing books are shaping the person I would like to become. I am mentioning some of them that had a huge impact on my life and thinking.
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Book by Don Miguel Ruiz
This book talks about four agreements that helps us to become a better version of ourselves using Ancient Toltec Wisdom.
Life’s Amazing Secrets: How to Find Balance and Purpose in Your Life
Book by Gaur Gopal Das
This is a very interesting book about stories and conversation of Gopal Gaur Das with Harry. In those stories are the embedded life’s amazing secrets to lead a happy and fulfilling life.
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
Book by Carol S Dweck
This book is about who we can change the fixed mindset to growth mindset. In growth mindset we always have the attitude to learn and become the better version of ourselves from yesterday. we can apply this to any skill we want to learn.
Man’s Search for Meaning
Book by Viktor E Frankl
Born Survivors: Three Young Mothers and Their Extraordinary Story of Courage, Defiance, and Hope
Book by Wendy Holden
These two books are illuminating books on concentration camps and in that situation where humanity is completely absent how we still have a choice.
Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Take Hold and Others Come Unstuck
Book by Dan Heath and Chip Heath
Amazing book on how some ideas stick while other don’t
Principles :Life and Work
Book by : Ray Dalio
Ray Dalio teaches us how we can take every failure or mistake and then devise a plan to ensure we don’t make the same mistake again. We can reflect and write down all decision making criteria and that way we learn.
Fish! : catch the energy, release the potential!
Book By: Stephen Lundin
This book is talking about the famous Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle. How the most boring job can turned into a play. We can choose to make every day a great day by choosing our attitude.
My effort is to put my understanding based on my personal experiences. on how I would like to be better person than I was yesterday. I may fail at times but I will get up again and try again.
- Be impeccable with your word: Always stick to your word and don’t hurt anyone with your words knowingly or unknowingly. I am still not there as at times I may not be able to stick to my words but I try my best to do that. I would never knowingly hurt anyone in my life. I have been hurt several times by words and I know its impact can last several years.
- Don’t take things personally : I had heard this earlier in my life but never really implemented. Again I am still learning but now I am much more aware when I am taking things personally. when I am aware I realise and try to correct myself. I fail most of the times as breaking any habit is not easy but I am on it. People can say hurtful things to us . Don’t take it personally as they may not be true. Always evaluate what the other person is saying. If it seems true then take action else leave it. May be the person is having a bad day and they never meant it. Forgive people for your own happiness.
Gopal Gaur das has an excellent infographic that he explains that I call as circle of contentment
Ray Dalio learnt by maintaining a log of every mistakes and what actions needs to be taken in the future. This is how he created the world’s largest hedge fund firm Bridgewater Associates.
Carol mentions that when we believe that basic qualities can be cultivated. It can be built through efforts and strategies and help from others. This is a growth mindset where we know that we can learn and improve every day. Fixed mindset is where we assume that we are smart and hence the growth completely stops. Smart people want to just prove and stops learning. In the race to prove our worth to others we become more and more frustrated. There is always growth opportunities for us as human beings. Change is happening all around us and to imbibe the change we need to constantly learn.
3. Don’t make assumptions : Most of the times we make assumptions about what the other person is saying. we create perceptions based on assumptions that may or may not be true. These perceptions may not be true. It is always better to ask for clarifications that way we don’t make any assumptions. This is true for both personal relationships as well as in our professional life.
4. Always do you best : Give everything you do your 100%. Like Forest Gump took action even though he was initially not good. He took action and gave his best at whatever he tried. Every action may not result in success. When we fail, we learn from it and continue taking action with full focus.
I started 2018 with a few goals that I wanted to achieve. They were not easy to accomplish but were also not unachievable. I had to put consistent efforts.
There were days when I did not even felt like getting up from bed. Always have a motive that motivates you in case you feel down. Ensure you support others in achieving their goals. Make time to listen to others. Be selfless and find someone who needs help and make their day. It would give you the highest level of happiness.
As the evening of December 31, 2018 comes I am ready to move to next phase of my goals to achieve the meaning of my life. How about you? Always remember Impossible also spells I M Possible.
I will end this post with Gautam Buddha’s words to have good and positive thoughts
Control your thoughts as they become your speech.
Control your speech as they become your actions.
Control your action as they become your Habits.
Control your habit as they become your characters
Control your character as it becomes your destiny.
Have a happy new year and keep having a positive, motivating and inspiring self talk.